this overdue owl is overdue.

Percy turned twenty-three three days ago. he thinks he did absolutely terrible very well at his Obstetrics and Gynaecology examination. no, his speculum did NOT get stuck into any model's cervix. he saw a pterygium in the GP clinic and heard a systolic murmur in a little girl that was just about as loud as a fulminating Thor's Thunder Cracker... and the bloke at the operating theatre thinks Percy look like an Inferi that only eats low-fat, high-protein Beater Boosts and keeps on consistently giving him scrubs that won't go up his callipygian figure.

some days, he is really sad and wishes that he'd disappear faster than Neville Longbottom after he'd mucked up his third potion of the week! but he finds that more often than not, he is very exhausted and happier than Dudley Dursley with a biscuit tin filled with Jammie Dodgers. oh, and he's put on a almost two stones since he'd last posted. fortunately, nobody noticed the fact that Percy's plump posterior is now big enough to make a centaur blush and somehow, his non-existent breast tissue managed to expand enough to give him month-long wardrobe malfunctions. today, as he did his burpees, his bra clasp snapped open and grace the exercise mat with its #freedCoopersligament status ... and no, it was not a freeing feminist statement!

also, he is very exuberant about the prospects of this immeasurable, amorphous entity called life... for he might eat overpriced Japanese noodles this Friday in a belated birthday celebration!

a short, belated owl to Father Christmas.

dear Father Christmas, this December, besides telling Percy that he has failed not succeeding in his paediatrics exam, you have given him a motor vehicle collision that resulted in him losing his muggle transportation contraption created by Flyte and Barker. he had replaced it... with the same exact model. you then confiscated his ancient, convulsion-prone muggle fellytone, so he had to replace that as well! to add on, his Quidditch watch that he has had for approximately 1 1/2 yeas now has last been seen in a café that dared to serve the most unholy rose lattes, and Percy is suspecting that you were involved in its disappearance. during this time period, you have also given Percy AND the rest of his mates a psychiatry-induced depression! he spent the past two months in a fog AND a state... AND he'd also put on half a stone!  

in honour of the new year and all the oppressed cocoa beans in the world, Percy resolved not to give Father Christmas anymore chocolate biccies! i hope you choke on your custard creams, you fat miserable git!