The Daily Prophet's Breaking News.

it's been officially two months since Percy started drinking his coffee black.

also, there was sort of a situation at his university that might have meant that he was exempt from doing his GP examinations that Percy thinks has been resolved today. unfortunately, he could not Obliviate himself from having a woeful mental breakdown he had yesterday, in front of a coordinator, a psychiologist, a receptionist and the head of GP  that involved about twenty minutes of pathetic, violent sobbing. he supposed the choking on the water (given to him to help him compose himself mind you, instead of wetting his now-crumpled navy blue robes) because he neglected to submit a 700 word reflective account was not one of his most elegant moments.

he also was 20 minutes late to a final last Thursday, because of broomstick traffic.

he does not recall to this day what he has written in his bloody exam, but he hopes that i am not sure if i want to choke on a chocolate frog or if i wish someone else would was not one of the statements.

he supposes he might be unravelling, but he also supposes that all his problems are because of his  problematic ovaries and their insistent on shedding its uterine endometrium lining each month, the fact that he'd used his psychiatry book so many times that its covered managed to disintegrate (unfortunately, he has not disintegrated) and the fact that there is no more posh chocolates in the cupboard anymore. 

this overdue owl is overdue.

Percy turned twenty-three three days ago. he thinks he did absolutely terrible very well at his Obstetrics and Gynaecology examination. no, his speculum did NOT get stuck into any model's cervix. he saw a pterygium in the GP clinic and heard a systolic murmur in a little girl that was just about as loud as a fulminating Thor's Thunder Cracker... and the bloke at the operating theatre thinks Percy look like an Inferi that only eats low-fat, high-protein Beater Boosts and keeps on consistently giving him scrubs that won't go up his callipygian figure.

some days, he is really sad and wishes that he'd disappear faster than Neville Longbottom after he'd mucked up his third potion of the week! but he finds that more often than not, he is very exhausted and happier than Dudley Dursley with a biscuit tin filled with Jammie Dodgers. oh, and he's put on a almost two stones since he'd last posted. fortunately, nobody noticed the fact that Percy's plump posterior is now big enough to make a centaur blush and somehow, his non-existent breast tissue managed to expand enough to give him month-long wardrobe malfunctions. today, as he did his burpees, his bra clasp snapped open and grace the exercise mat with its #freedCoopersligament status ... and no, it was not a freeing feminist statement!

also, he is very exuberant about the prospects of this immeasurable, amorphous entity called life... for he might eat overpriced Japanese noodles this Friday in a belated birthday celebration!