intothe Speed Force's not so terminal, somewhat education case of Examinitis.

this month, Percy failed his first examination since he'd gotten into medical Azkaban school.

this was not because he was not prepared, nor was it because he did not have the appropriate amount of knowledge (in fact, he had more knowledge than most... especially about the causes of hypotonia in small baby Swedish Short-Snouts!) it was not because he was attempting to free Hogwarts from the dangers of mountain trolls, or Crabbe and Goyle's bloated Pygmy Puff-like facial features or the improper treatment of house-elves.

unfortunately, he... neglected to take his important beta-blocker potion Atenolol before the examination and got SO anxious he could barely speak in his ORAL exam. because his beta was not blocked... unfortunately.

after hearing about this predicament, Percy spent FOUR days in a state of severe depression. he spent most days crying for hours whilst listening to muggle metal music that told him that he was a warrior and that his dominance could not be denied. he fit all the nine criteria for depression, including suicidal ideation. he thoroughly refused to bathe himself for more than once every two days. he barely ate and then spent too much money on stodgy takeaway pasta and attempting to drown himself in his unsolicited caffeine addiction.

after the four days, Percy started to feel invigorated... and ready to attempt to succeed. and hungry.

then Percy told his parents about his failures. he told other people about his failures.

apparently, there is nobody that left medical school without failing something.

he had gone out for a coffee run with a few students, and one of them sent him a long, long message about how he was actually very good in paediatrics, this did not define him and that if he needed someone to talk to, there was someone there to listen. and that she liked having coffee runs with him - even if especially when he shoved warm fresh baked Nestle cookies down his gob. and there with there were so many people that sat there talking to him for a while about how he was going to be okay. and that this happened to everyone and it was normal. even if Percy talked about his failure in the tone of
                                  "Charms is a very difficult but charming subject!"

the most shocking thing that Percy realised was that his failure did not make others see him as less than he was before. they just saw him as a victim of a bad day. and that comforted him greatly.

Percy is currently in psychiatry. he had spent a week with an general psychiatrist where he took a long interview (1 1/2 hours' worth of information) from a schizophrenic patient. then he spent a week in the OPD with a psychiatrist specialising in anxiety disorders. now, he is currently in the child psychiatric unit.

on a sweeter (pun intended) note... after his paediatric rotation ended, Percy went out with Lee Jordan and Ginny Weasley. their Friday afternoon turned into a blur of saffron cake with cardamom ice-cream (that Percy did not eat because his cake had to be denser than Marcus Flint's head and not airier than Harry Potter on a broom), gaudy Halloween decorations in a hipster-happy joint, aesthetically aesthetic tres leche and crème brûlée lattes, insignificant but entertaining trashy college gossip and slightly above average Asian food.

Child Counsultant's Magical Anxiety Reducing Potion Shop.

Percy and his hypnotising hippogriff's pastry eating has been briefly suspended for a far more important post. 

for the past five weeks, Percy has been waking up at five in the morning, driving absurd distances from his house to get to his assigned hospital paediatric ward for that week and then to his university for two-hour long lectures on children with coughs and babies with congenital heart defects. this would be after he'd spent the whole morning taking histories, botching up clinical exams and then making a fool of himself to the healers by not being able to answer half their questions. he typically returns home at five-thirty or six-thirty in the afternoon most days. at times, he would have not had a single tea break during the day. 

this following week is the last week that Percy has to go to the hospital, because after this week, he has his FINAL exams. yes, after spending approximately 1 1/2 months in paediatric wards, Percy is now expected to examine an ill child for his paediatric examination on the 23rd, followed by a neonatal exam on the 26th of October where he is supposed to examine a baby that is not even a week old. 

did he mention that this week was the first week he'd even held a baby? 

in typical chewing-tables-and-having-relentless-anxiety fashion, Percy was told to evaluate his own performance by a paediatric counsultant on Thursday. after he told the consultant that he believed that his performance was satisfactory, the man said that he thought that Percy was better than that. when Percy mentioned that he was unhappy with his neonatal exam that he did with Dr Crup, the healer said, 

                                                      "Dr Crup* was very happy with you."

and when he said this, Percy thought that he was about to dissolve into happy tears. a counsultant paediatric healer had told Percy that he thinks that Percy's problem is that he overthinks things, and that he blanks out and gets nervous unnecessarily. and then he told Percy, 

         "people are nervous when they don't have the knowledge or the skill. you have both of those." 

it is the sentences and words that everyone had been telling him all his life, but Percy had never had a CONSULTANT take an hour of his day to sit with him, and tell him that he thought that Percy was doing more than satisfactory. in fact, if Percy had to genuinely rate himself, he would give himself an etremely subpar rating. it is with this thought that Percy decides that no matter what happens during the examinations, he realises that he should take the time to calm down. there will be NO third wizarding world if he had forgotten to ask the mother if she had a standard vaginal delivery if the rest of his history is still intact. 

Percy honestly felt like crying tears of joy when the doctor told him this. he felt like the heavy weight of his own expectations of himself disappear. Percy is fully aware that he will still leave his examination feeling like he could've done much better, but he is also aware that the healers know that Percy is under stress, and that he is truly his own worst critic. knowing that how he rates himself post-exam is nowhere near how the professors are going to rate him brings him a closure NOW that he is attempting to embrace. Percy knows that he will not be calm during his exam. he will be tachycardic, talk too quickly, have a resting tremor and suffer from signs of hyperthyroidism. and he will probably leave the exam with a mixture of doom and nausea. but at least he knows that it is perfectly normal. as is passing out, and ingesting his body weight in carbohydrates straight after. 

also, apparently, because Percy asked - the healers are not bothered when Percy repeats himself, or when he does not say anything for approximately ten seconds during said examination... who would have thought? 

*the healer that Percy was referring to has a surname that is a carnivorous animal of the dog family. 

list of things Percy actually did August.

1. succumb to the fact that no matter how hard he tried, Percy will not go to sleep before 2AM.

2. finish Breaking Bad and debate on whether you hate or love the ending for about 2 weeks.

3. wonder whether most people see Pepperidge Farms goldfish crackers are smiling goldfish, or fish with gills. Percy believes that they are just super cute fish with gills. 

also, despite his endorphin-producing mixed martial arts class, Percy broke into tears three times today for no reason whatsoever. twice when writing to Fred and once in front of his mother, Molly Weasley. he almost broke into tears in the middle of a big shopping centre, clutching two new pairs of gaudy gym pants in a muted tealish blue and a printed purple, whilst screaming to himself: I DON'T WANT EID TOMORROW. his father bought him 300g (!) of Cadbury chocolates to comfort him. and because their fridge broke down.