Smart Pelvic and Placenta Appliances' Speculum Shop.

last week, Percy got his speculum stuck into a pelvic model and witnessed a Caesarian section happening about five inches away from him (he is currently in Obstetric and Gynaecology. never in one profession did he feel so close to projectile vomiting in the surgery when they attempted to stitch up the pelvic floor in a woman. on his first day, he nearly fainted when he witnessed the third stage of labour in the L&D). he also learned that he is not eating enough. in fact, Fred told him that "five-year-olds" eat more than him... this left him in a week-long state of shock. Percy never knew that being afraid of a cheese toastie wasn't normal! this picture was taken ages ago... Percy does not remember the last time he'd eaten a piece of cake and thoroughly enjoyed! the last new thing he'd bloody tried was this unholy avocado smoothie that belongs... well, in the L&D. because Percy is sure that it's still stuck in his bowls, trying to give him some corking heallth benefits!

this photo was back in a time where Percy did not run over his laptop with his car and then got his screen replaced because he ran his bloody laptop over with his car. it was a wonderful time.

Things That Percy's Father Bought From Sugarplum's Magical Sweet Shop Last Friday.

1. GNAW Fudge Crunch: razor-blade raisins and fudge so diminutive Percy needed an electron microscope to see. of course it was good, because it was creamy, chaos-creating, calves-condensing CHOCOLATE, but when the fudge is smaller than Percy's current level of motivation to Do Importanter Stuff, then it's criminal. this would not ward off Percy from Dementors, but it will definitely ward off a waist size smaller than 25".

2.  Made Good Mixed Berry Granola Bar: Percy's father, Arthur Weasley, bought these for himself but gave some to Percy Percy took some anyway because he has never had Granola Bar + Seeds + Sugar Glue + Berry Concoction Number 984567. Percy did not eat these, but he knows how they taste like. because granola bars all taste like "i'd rather be eating something else... like my protein-rich toes or my rapidly diminishing hopes and dreams." still he wants to ask WHY his granola bar is not enough to feed a horklump?

3. Dried Kiwifruit: Percy is accountable for this crime... he simply adores and consumes large amounts of dried fruit, particularly pineapples (!!), cherries, blueberries, cranberries and kiwi. when his mother, Molly Weasley went to Bosnia last year, she bought back ginormous bags (literally kilos of each fruit!) of assorted dried fruits for him because she knows how much he loves them.

4. Beech's Rose Creams: Percy has tried Violet Creams before. he thought that they tasted EXACTLY like how sugary body lotion smell (the 'violet' and 'rose' taste are achieved using violet and rose oils... which people DO smother on their bodies and use in perfumes!!), but he could not stop eating them. and when Percy finished it, he craved them even more than he has ever craved a Reese's Cup. rose, being more prominently used in traditional baking in Percy's region, was another flavour that gave off almost Bath-and-Body-Works-like vibes but not quite. Percy also ate a lemon cream version. he does not know what kind of addictive additive they've added into this addled abomination to make Percy dream of them all the time. he suspects it's because of the mixture of the extremely sugary filling with the waxy, dark chocolate casing that his neurons are tingling for.

even more surprising, Percy wants to try more flavours. he wants to try strawberry creams (even though he hates strawberry chocolates with the passion of a thousand burning Ashwinders) and the ginger creams, even though ginger makes Percy remember the times that Ginny chases him around with boxes of lemon, ginger and black pepper tea when he is sick.

5. Cadbury Chocolate Roundies (in his arms): these are circular wafer-like discs enrobed in milk chocolate. when Percy eats one, he has satisfied his colossal chocolate craving. also, they are Cadbury. yesterday, Arthur Weasley brought him the caramel (!!) version and told him to blend it into a calorific milkshake because that was what Percy's sagging, droopy arms were missing... evidently, they are called Roundies because if you eat too many, you start to transform into one.

6. Magic Stars Hot Chocolate (in his arms): this is just hot chocolate, but it gets multiple points for having mini chocolate starts to appear to Percy's 6 16 year old self who misses the days where they used to have glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars to lull him into his gothic, emo-driven dreams.

Things That Percy Only Contemplated Buying From Sneakervamp's Magical Nike Shop Monday.

on Monday, after a RPM class, Percy spent the whole day out with Lee Jordan in the largest, most frequented shopping mall in his vicinity-like... vicinity. the original plan was to go out for a coffee, but a need-dextrose-dextrin-and-disaccharides-to-function Percy insisted that they must have lunch. so off they went to Wagamama.

this is where Percy consumed half an Antipodean Opaleye's weight in vegetable tappenyaki. he practically bullied suggested to Lee Jordan that they should get vegetable gyozas (because if you did not Percy will hex your resistance bands!). when they bought the gyozas, Percy promptly ate all of... one of. 

in fact, afterwards, Percy also chose the coffee shop, of which Lee Jordan was a tragic victim to a mini stale banana-chocolate muffin whilst Percy happily sipped his hot toffee coffee.

this situation then balanced out because they went to all of Lee Jordan's favourite stores, where he had bought a shirt, a dress and a jar of smooth peanut butter. they sat in a frozen yoghurt shop. throughout all this, they were chattering faster than teeth clattered and squeaked after one ingested several packets of Ice Mice. they discussed vital topics, such as Lee Jordan's road traffic accident that left him with a busted lip (healing well), his bookshelf-assembling skills (that left Lee Jordan with other injuries because being in a road traffic accident is not enough), their current workout and weight training regimens, their now pragmatic training-and-body expectations compared to their nonsensical ones (Lee Jordan wanting legs with more definitions than an English-to-Elvish dictionary, Percy wanting to look semi-human the same) before, their dietary changes and thoughts, and their university rotations (for 6 weeks, Percy has paediatrics whilst Lee Jordan has psychiatry.)

Percy then ended up looking through three pair of Nike shoes (he did not buy any because he realised that he needed to splinch off an arm and leg to pay for it! they were also not comfortable on his feet and that is of most critical importance, especially seeing as Percy has flat feet), and Lee Jordan for high-quality resistance bands. Percy then left Lee Jordan to get Ginny and her Dutch friend from the supermarket, who has been living in Ginny's room for the past month... literally and is now dubbed as Gerda Curd, for the fact that she was lugging kilos of fresh Dutch cheese from Holland to the Middle East for Ginny but... is lactose intolerant. they went home where Ginny gave Percy a Gryffindor notebook (!) even though Percy does not consider himself a Gryffindor even though that is where the Sorting Hat and the rest of the universe put him in:

Ginny's explanation for this gift was sweeter than pumpkin pasties and butterbeer biscuits! she said,
                 "i know when you're in the hospital, you take little notebooks with you to scribble notes based on what the healers say. so i thought to get you a little notebook to take with you for next year."

now, if ONLY Percy could be gifted a decrypting tool because he writes so quickly when he is taking a history that the resultant suffering scrawl looks like it belongs in an old abandoned Ancient Runes textbook.