last week, Percy got his speculum stuck into a pelvic model and witnessed a Caesarian section happening about five inches away from him (he is currently in Obstetric and Gynaecology. never in one profession did he feel so close to projectile vomiting in the surgery when they attempted to stitch up the pelvic floor in a woman. on his first day, he nearly fainted when he witnessed the third stage of labour in the L&D). he also learned that he is not eating enough. in fact, Fred told him that "five-year-olds" eat more than him... this left him in a week-long state of shock. Percy never knew that being afraid of a cheese toastie wasn't normal! this picture was taken ages ago... Percy does not remember the last time he'd eaten a piece of cake and thoroughly enjoyed! the last new thing he'd bloody tried was this unholy avocado smoothie that belongs... well, in the L&D. because Percy is sure that it's still stuck in his bowls, trying to give him some corking heallth benefits!
this photo was back in a time where Percy did not run over his laptop with his car and then got his screen replaced because he ran his bloody laptop over with his car. it was a wonderful time.
Your story about the woman's pelvis reminded me about this story my friend tells. She interned in a hospital our senior year of high school and on her first day, there was a woman whose bowels just...emptied all over the bed. She was very elderly and so they had to clean her and she was truly caked in her own poop. My friend said as she was helping wipe everything off, all she could think was "man am I hungry. I wonder when lunch is". It makes me laugh every time I think about it because its just ridiculous to imagine a brand new intern staring at massive amounts of poo and thinking about a ham sandwich. Sorry if that's disgusting, I hope you think that's as funny as I do, but you might not, so if you sever all communication here, I'll understand haha. But yeah, thinking about stitching a pelvis made me cringe and shudder and I didn't even have to see it so kudos to you. You've got a much stronger stomach than me.
ReplyDeleteI guess the thing about recovery is that it definitely is such a winding, looping, backtracking path. I like straightforward things, and I like to be good at them immediately so recovery just...sucks. You're absolutely right about how my weight will never be good enough for me. Every single time I go down this road I always tell myself "x is where I wanna be" and then I get there and I'm still not happy, I'm still afraid of the condiments, and I just keep falling down the rabbit hole. Its always a little weird for me to hear someone say they want to gain weight, but yeah, I agree that there's starting to be a huge movement towards being healthy instead of being skinny. In my more positive moments, I can really allow myself to picture what it would be like to go to the gym because I like exercise, or to eat what I wanted because it was good for my body not good for my /mind/.
I'm genuinely so happy that you are in recovery. I don't know if I've ever said that. I also don't remember a lot of our conversations, just that you were always so positive and comforting. This type of community has a lot of good things about it, but it is also really easy to find blogs that make slipping back into old ways seem enticing. I'm rooting for you and I'm in your corner, and I know you're going to be okay.
An avocado smoothie sounds horrible, but I also will never understand why people insist on putting green things in smoothies. Kale? Spinach? Smoothies are supposed to taste good, get your leaves out of it haha.
It makes me laugh that when I said we used to be friends on here, you said "you know that you used this line on me before. this is your second time. of COURSE i remember you." As I was originally typing that line, I was thinking to myself "hmmm I think I said this the last time I came back to blogger" haha. You really have a fantastic memory.
I hope you don't have to see any more pelvises (pelvisi?).I hope that you never back over your computer with your car again. But most of all I hope that you are doing okay. I hope that someday you can enjoy cake again.
You are a bright light and I love you
-Lee
❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteI got my new Firebolt! (aka its a red kia rio, sedan style not hatchback if you fancy a Google) annnnndd I got a nice little broomstick charm to hang from the rearview mirror and it's delightful, you would love it!
I hope the new year turns things around for you soon too!! And yessss! We DO need to catch up! I'll try to send you a lengthy email in the next few days ❤️
Ugh I know birth is meant to be a beautiful part of life etc but all the giving birth stuff makes me queasy? Imagine when I found out what an episiotomy is.
ReplyDeleteI hope you do eat a bit more lovely <3 cake, or a cheese toastie, or just anything better than an avocado smoothie! lol. I really really hate avocado despite how much it is the 'in' thing.
Hope you're doing well angel xx
Love,
Christie