keeping up with the French theme, Percy has written a guide about another opulent-because-everything-French-is-opulent-oily-and-ostentatious buttery French air delicacy by the name of a "croissant."
Percy is going to start with the basics! if you want a hint of butter or cheese, there is no better vehicle than this beloved bread-based breakfast! Percy highly recommends it, especially if cleaning off the flaky pastry pieces off your favourite professional future-black cauldron-black trousers precipitates a miniature mental breakdown! it is no secret that hippogriffs especially adore it when their masters are covered in croissant crumbs... easier to eat breakfast and give you slobbery, Lactobacillus-containing kisses that way!
if you eat this pretty pitiful pastry with enough margarine or butter to harden your arteries or enough cheese to make a cow go into septic shock, then perhaps, you, like Percy, suffer from post-prandial indigestion! but hopefully, unlike Percy, is not heading towards hippogriff-sized pants! but if you, like Percy's university, use croissants as a component of a breakfast sandwich, then he refuses to associate himself with you.
if you prefer to have a snitch-sized dollop of chocolate in your airy, unfulfilling croissant then scoff down a pain au chocolat. the elves named it so because cocoa beans all around the world are writhing in Cruciatus-induced agony knowing that they suffered through the labourious fermentation process only to be piped into microscopic morsels into an atmospheric-pressure-defying snack. be wary of tending to a hippogriff after eating a pain au chocolate... it pains them to know you ate this literally empty (where is my luscious chocolate centre?) promise!
lastly, if you do not spend enough time agonising over your life choices, Percy suggests a pain aux raisins! when you get to the sticky paste embedded in the raisin swirl, you are guaranteed to start contemplating all your life choices! you also may start to wonder if your mother endured nine months of pregnancy so you could eat stodgy raisin bread bound with an amorphous sweet syrup with the consistency of Dumbledore's beard! it may even make you contemplate why in Merlin's name do you own a hippogriff? especially when you are fatally allergic to responsibility and insist that wearing your bra the second day is a normal thing that successful people do.
