dear Palace of Promiscuous Pastries,
whilst my second cup of medium specialty coffee lasts for an hour, you last for approximately two minutes. this is not satisfactory. ask any woman. at times, you are flavourless, flaccid, frigid and unnecessarily flinty. you are also a remarkable bolus of fast-digesting, simple carbohydrates that my neurons seem to need but are never satisfied with. not unlike the seemingly pleasurable process of procreation. i keep wasting my dwindling allowance on you even though i don't need you like i need intramuscular injections of caffeine and IV dextrose. though one can argue that my wallet also does not deserve such coffee shop coffee assault... multiple times in a day. however, in conclusion, neither i nor the ginormous hippogriff, which i am currently raising as my aggressive yet magically magical child, are ecstatic about this. i suggest you sort yourself out or 50 points from HufflePUFF!
love... Percy, a perfect prefect that should not prance with pastries.
There are few things worse than purchasing a coffee, being super excited about said [probably pumpkin spice] coffee, and then discovering the coffee is so weak it's basically coffee-flavoured water.
ReplyDeleteHi angel <3 first of all I fucking love your fics and your comeback!! (I know it's absolutely irrelavant sorry!)
ReplyDeleteflaccid pastries XD although I don't like pastries that much. Too flaky - I'd go for a cookie or doughnut instead. (Krispy kremes are so sweet and amazing)
don't take points from my house :<
Hope you're doing good <3 xo
Love,
Christie
P.s. - it makes me smile when I see you on mfp :) even though I am very irresponsible at using the app, haha